


Blame Archie

by Crytober



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Everyone is high on pain meds and other shit, Humor, I honestly don’t know what to put here, Kinda Crack, Oldie And early 20s songs, Other, car crashes, god I hope This is funny, plus kevin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 17:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17513222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crytober/pseuds/Crytober
Summary: It was all Archie’s ideaThereforeIt was all Archie’s fault





	Blame Archie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Goatly_Sacrifices](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goatly_Sacrifices/gifts).



It was all Archie’s idea

Therefore

It’s all Archie’s fault 

Archie had suggested that since he and Jughead didn’t go on their Fourth of July road trip they should do it now since summer just began. He even got Betty and Veronica in on it. Just them. 

They were going to add Kevin in on it but, he decided to say behind telling them to go on without him.

(they didn’t miss his tone but oh well)

Jughead and Archie has scraped up enough money together with the help of Fred and FP to buy a crappy van that they fixed up for a while before Veronica deemed it good enough.

They left on a Saturday morning. Heading up to a cabin in the woods for a few days in California and just to explore for a bit. 

They had packed up everything they needed. 

Close, food, drinks, and a few other necessities they needed.

And Archie had been the one to put on music

Everyone took turns making the others ears bleed

Jughead was screaming toxic at the top of his lungs along with Veronica, the girls and Archie rocking out to spiderwebs by no doubt and a few others songs ranging from the 80s-90s to early 20s

Veronica and Jughead were in a very aggressive duet of Meatloaf when they all heard the screech of tires and felt the impact of a truck hit them head on.

-

Having Alice Cooper kick down your door along with Hermione and Fred is a very  _ strange  _ experience and FP will take it to his grave that he was genuinely scared of her for a moment.

“Get in the car Forsythe Pendleton Jones the Second! We’re heading to California now!” She yelled, glaring daggers at him as if he’s the cause of whatever’s going on.

“The hell?” He gruffly Asked, “I’m going to take part of you ruining the kids trip Alice” he sits down on his old ratty couch again. Ignoring the incredulous looks he’s being given.

“You haven’t heard?” Fred steps forward, and FP feels slight dread build.

“The kids got into a car crash we’re all going, plus a Kevin who refused to be left behind are going to the hospital to get them.” Fred said, and FP immediately Jumped up grabbed his coat, phone, wallet. And ran out.

-

The car ride is silent, tight. And Suffocating.

It’s been  _ years  _ since they’ve all been in the same room let alone a  _ car  _ together. Plus Kevin but he’s texting some guy named moose and the sparks some confusion in FP cause he thought the boy was seeing Joaquin but that’s literally the Very  _ least _ of his concerns.

Alice has the death grip of all death grips on the steering wheel, muttering rapidly underneath her breath that none of them can hear except Hermione who’s seated in the front seat sending death glares at whatever Alice is saying.

“Oh Alice would you  _ stop”  _ Hermione spoke up, getting everyone’s attention. Even Kevin’s who hadn’t looked up from his phone the entire time.

“It was an accident. It’s not like they purposely was going on this to get hurt.” Hermione said. “And stop with the Delinquent talk, none of them are delinquents”

“Except Maybe Jughead-“

“Hey!”

“-But He seems like a good boy”

FP grumbles a “ _ he is”  _ underneath his breath and sinks back into his seat.

“My Elizabeth never got into this  _ murder  _ investigations or anything until  _ your daughter  _ came around!” Hermione arched a brow at Alice’s statement.

“Say” she clicks her tongue. “Wasn’t it  _ your  _ daughters idea to drown the Clayton kid? All mine did was want to expose him and get a little justice. Not kill him” Hermione starts cackling at Alice’s supptering in betty and hers defense. While Kevin mutters a “oooh she went there” under his breath.

Fred and FP share a look, FP whips out his phone and starts making a call.

“Who are you calling?”

“Gladys, I’m sure she’ll want to know” FP mutters Waiting for her to pick up the phone, if she even does. Fred nods pulling out his phone to do the same FP assumes.

-

No one got  _ too hurt  _ some more than others but stil, Veronica only got a bruised shoulder and a minor head injury she’ll be sore definitely as well everyone else, Archie got a concussion from

Hitting and knocking himself plum out on the steering wheel but other than that he’s fine.

Betty and Jughead… they were in the back of the van where there wasn’t any seats so they quite  _ literally  _ got thrown around. 

Everyone is fussing over their kids, plus Kevin who’s quietly checking on Veronica and Betty. 

Jughead though

Jughead is high on pain meds

And it’s  _ hilarious  _

And FP is enjoying everyone damn second of it, recording it while Fred looks at him with pure disappointment.

“Your son has a concussion and you’re recording him” Fred deadpans, FP shrugs.

“He would do it to me”

“True”

“Veronica!” He yells, Making everyone jump, She looks at him, a bit loopy herself from her own pain meds.

“W- we- we! need to finish our duet!” He stutters, Something  _ sparks  _ in her eyes and determinately nods

“No! No! No! You two don’t need to finish your duet” Hermione tries But it’s too late, they’re already singing meatloaf again in the most awful voices making almost everyone’s ears bleed and FP cannot stop laughing at Hermione’s distressed noises.

He doesn’t even notice Jellybean and Gladys enter the room cause he’s in tears now that Archie has woken up and is talking about how Reggie cracked his golf cart into Clayton’s car the other day and Veronica decided to start singing meatloaf in  _ Spanish  _ to which Jughead aggressively starts signing it not getting half the words right. 

Betty has her ears plugs trying in vain to drown out Alice’s lecture and Kevin is standing there very very awkwardly.

And then Mary shows up and Archie starts talking a mile a minute while she numbly nods along. Fred looks at FP for help and he just shrugs still grinning and still recording Jughead.

Once again

 

This is all Archie’s fault.

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
